Body Insecurities

Draft:

Composition:
royal blue bridesmaid dress (Exquisite Bride)
silver heels (BCBGMaxAzaria)
chain and pearl bracelet (gift from bride)
on nails: OPI Russian Navy Matte

Usage:
Apologies for my extended absence.  Due to several factors - including, but not limited to, traveling, recovering from the constant motion of this summer, and my general laziness - I haven't been in this corner of cyberspace.  However, there is one other reason that made me a bit gun-shy regarding posting.  You see, I've been going through a small bout of body insecurity. 

It's funny - after writing those words, I feel like I've betrayed some of the general precepts behind this blog and others like it.  After all, we've discussed loving our bodies just as they are, and we've celebrated our varying shapes, sizes, and styles.  In fact, one of the things that I love the most about the fashion blogging community is the body-positive environment it presents.  However, this atmosphere of body confidence, while refreshing and something I wish to see more in the media, also creates a space where discussing insecurities about our bodies, the things that we may occasionally wish we could change, becomes taboo (at least it seems that way to me).

Now, the type of body insecurity that I'm feeling right now is nothing extreme, consuming, or even particularly acute.  Just a run-of-the-mill occasional dissatisfaction with the way I look right now.  Pangs that I think everyone feels at one point or another to be thinner or curvier, to be taller or shorter, to have a smaller nose or longer legs, to have more muscles or thicker hair, etc.  These sporadic desires to just be different are, I think, natural and human.  When they become all-encompassing and cause people to take drastic, self-destructive action (as opposed to healthy steps - like if you want to lose weight and you start eating healthier versus developing an eating disorder) or when they really cause self-esteem to plummet, that is when body insecurity becomes dangerous.  Otherwise, I think it is just part of the ups and downs of life.

The reason I chose this particular outfit to post has nothing really to do with the outfit itself.  I actually think this dress looks quite nice on me.  The color really suits me, it highlights my curves, and I really liked the jewelry the bride gave us.  One thing, though, that bridesmaids dresses do is invite comparison between women.  When four women are standing together wearing different outfits, the eye may not naturally take in their varying shapes and sizes as much as it does when they are wearing the same dress.  The four women wearing this dress did, to some degree, represent different shapes and body types.  However, I was definitely the biggest one of the four - not to say that I am large because I am not - but next to three other women wearing the same dress as me only four sizes smaller, one notices it more.  Or rather, I noticed it more. 

Please note: this is not what "set off" any insecurities.  Nothing in particular acted as a trigger.  Just part of an ebb and flow of my ever-changing self-image.  I'm not worried about it, and I know it will soon pass.  I can change what is in my control, and I must accept what is given.  I will never be a size 2.  My nose will always be a bit larger than I want it to be.  My hair will always be baby fine.  But change that and you change what is uniquely me.  And I don't want to give that up.

Prompts:

• What do you feel insecure about?
• How do you overcome insecurity about your looks or really about anything at all?
• Has blogging changed your self-image at all?  Does it make you more confident about your body? (I think it has in my case).