Friendly Inspiration... to Revisit Barthes

Draft:

Composition:
graphic tee (Out of Print, gift from Anne-Marie)
clear beaded necklace (Kohl's)
white bermuda shorts (Old Navy)
rose gold sandals (Old Navy)
book (Moby Dick by Herman Melville)

Usage:
Anne-Marie gave me this Moby Dick Tee as a graduation gift to commemorate the end by remembering the beginning: our first grad school assignment was to read the entire book in one week.  Welcome to graduate school, ladies!  She found the tee at Out of Print, a t-shirt company that claims to "celebrate the world's greatest stories through fashion."  Or, at least, they celebrate the books which were originally published with cover designs that they consider "striking works of art."  Additionally, they work with Books For Africa to donate one book to "a community in need" for each tee that is purchased.

Earlier this week, I was talking to AM about how uncomfortable I am posing for these photos.  I was having trouble figuring it out.  I'm not uncomfortable with my body, I love my clothes, and I take the photos using a self-timer, so it shouldn't be a matter of being embarrassed about taking them.  She told me I need to think of posing for the photos as a performance, just as I think of dressing as a performance.  I gave this some thought.  What am I performing in the photos?  My identity?  I don't think so.  My personality?  Maybe.  So I tried to perform a little more personality in the photos for today's post.

I also decided to use Anne-Marie's gift to serve as the foundation for an AM-inspired casual outfit.  I think I struggle to style casual looks, but AM says she doesn't believe me.  I've been trying to embrace my natural hair texture and figure out how to feel comfortable with its unruliness, and AM says she prefers it wavy, so I didn't dry and straighten it.  She also claims that a nude shoe goes with everything.  When she showed us her white capris recently, I remember that I had these shorts in my closet.  To add a bit of theatricality to an otherwise standard outfit, I also added this recently acquired clear beaded bauble necklace (does it remind anyone else of Gaga's bubble "dress"?  Or a cluster of grapes?).  I think it came together well, and I enjoyed wearing this ensemble; thanks for the inspiration, Anne-Marie!

As I thought more about this photographic "performance" she suggested, I realized: wait, I've read this before.  In Camera Lucida, Roland Barthes addresses this.  He recognizes that when he poses for a photo that he knows is going to be taken, "I instantaneously make another body for myself, I transform myself in advance into an image" (10), and that as a result, "I feel that the Photograph creates my body or mortifies it" (11).  He also addresses the impossibility of the photograph representing what he wants it to represent,  writing, "What I want, in short, is that my (mobile) image, buffeted among a thousand shifting photographs, altering with situation and age, should always coincide with my (profound) 'self,'" but that this cannot happen because "'myself' never coincides with my image" (12).  As a result, he concludes-- and this seems to me central to my anxiety about the photographs-- "the Photograph is the advent of myself as other: a cunning dissociation of consciousness from identity" (12).

I hadn't noticed this kind of anxiety about being photographed before, I think, because I never really posed for photos by myself.  Even for these two photos, holding the book in my hands gave me a sense of comfort about the posing, like there was something there with me.  When I photograph myself by myself (and here we get into another issue that I might address another time: I'm technically the photographer and the object of the photograph) this anxiety is heightened because I know there will be nothing to look at in the photograph except me.  Why don't I think of it as a photograph of my clothes, since that is what this blog is about, rather than a photograph of me?  I don't know.  Maybe making that distinction will help.

All that to say, I think Barthes might help me think through these issues and, ultimately, to feel more comfortable with the photographic element of this blog.  But the google books preview of Camera Lucida stops at page 12, and my notes on the text in its entirety are fairly brief, so I'll have to wait until the copy I requested makes it to my library before I can return to this topic.  I do intend to return, though, because I have that exciting sense that we sometimes get as researchers-- the sense that I am heading in the right direction even though I can't put into words why I am sure of it.

Work Cited:
Barthes, Roland.  Camera Lucida: Reflections on Photography.  Translated by Richard Howard.  Editions du Seuil, 1980.  Firrar, Straus, and Gireaux, 1981.  Hill and Wang, 1982. Via Google Books.

Prompts:

• Thoughts on this outfit?  
• Fellow style bloggers: I know I'm not alone in feeling anxiety about posing for the photos because I've read some of your posts on the subject.  Please feel free to throw your thoughts into conversation with mine, too!
• If you've found ways to feel more comfortable posing for photos of just yourself, please share those, too!
• What are your reactions to the section of Barthes I've tried to share here?  Do you sense this self-as-other feeling when you look at a photograph of yourself?